Tag: life lessons

Unnie Life Lessons: Mama Knows Best by Hi, Bye, Mama!

Is there a limit to what you can do for the ones you love? Putting them first, sacrificing your own needs and wants, letting them go to have the life they want to live? Cha Yu-ri, the main protagonist of Hi, Bye, Mama!, shows us that love is truly unconditional — not just as a parent, but also as a daughter, sibling, friend, and even as a ghostly spirit.

With the ongoing covid 19 pandemic paralyzing our daily lifestyle, it’s become common for us to slow down and have more time to reflect on what we’ve done so far in our x years of existence. Life is short, oh we know, but to someone like Yu-ri who died abruptly and was given a chance to start anew — she realized so much more than the living can adhere to.

Start watching or check out my Hi, Bye, Mama! recaps to get to know more about this kdrama!💃🏻

Mama’s Tips

1. Eating good food, going out or being able to hug your loved ones are actions that we can take for granted because we can do it anytime, easily. Learn to appreciate these simple acts of living and be thankful for every chance that you can do these.

  • No one in the world can predict their own death. Although we are told by quotes, reminded by a friend or older relative, and so on that we shouldn’t take things for granted, we can’t help but give little meaning to eating out, working, or being able to talk with friends because it’s easy. Let’s take a conscious effort to slow down and reflect on these beautiful acts of love and care.
  • I’ve read advice expressing that the everyday, mundane parts of life are all you need to live a good life. Let’s not wait until the certainty of these experiences become fractured — relish these moments now.

2. Even if it’s not in your presence anymore, letting your loved ones go and allowing them to find their own source of strength and hope is the best kind of love you can give.

  • Gang-hwa remarrying was never an issue for Yu-ri, either when she was a ghost or when she reincarnated, because she knew that she couldn’t console him any longer when she died. Seeing him get better and move on with Min Jeong was something that she will always be grateful for. Even if it meant the love of her life found somebody new, as long as he wasn’t in pain, she accepted it well.
  • It’s natural to think of ourselves first whenever we make decisions. But at the end of the day, it’s still easier for us to give way to someone we love because seeing them happy trumps the knowledge of them being miserable. Even to her own daughter (Seo Woo), Yu-ri never coveted the position of being her mom because she was thankful that Min Jeong took care of Seo Woo. Yu-ri was content in being able to spend time with her and know that Seo Woo liked her company as well.

3. Time can heal wounds. How long or how short can’t be determined but as long as you try, beautiful memories will replace the painful ones. Moving on with your life is something that you should strive to do when you need to.

  • Losing Yu-ri was a tragedy but five years gone, the people closest to Yu-ri were moving on with their lives without her. Although her mom did pray to see her once more, she still carried on with her everyday life without her eldest daughter. The unending pain that you feel will slowly dissipate with time, don’t give up. As long as you exert an effort to process the wounds, even as small as eating a meal or as big as trying to work or date again, better days will bless your presence.
  • As pointed out by Yu-ri, she didn’t want her loved ones to feel guilty in moving forward with their lives. We may forget about deceased family members, good friends we lost touch with through the years, or fun experiences, but we’ll never truly lose such memories because the impact they made in our lives are too significant.

Hi, Bye, Mama! kdrama was an emotional rollercoaster for me and though it had its depressing moments, the overall mood of the show aims to uplift our spirits with hope and healing. This post is long overdue, but it’s been a struggle for me to write about something positive when I myself have been feeling the ups and downs of being in quarantine.

There is no perfect formula on how to cope and move on but we can always try. Let’s be gentle with ourselves and never forget that:

Life is unpredictable. Live yours to the fullest — make sacrifices, learn from mistakes, cry, laugh to your heart’s content! It’s a wild but fulfilling journey, don’t worry, you’ll get through it😊

Unnie Life Lessons: 4 Woman Empowerment Tips by Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, empowerment is defined as “the granting of the power, right, or authority to perform various acts or duties.” I believe though that empowerment is not about just taking action, but it’s also being able to listen and realize when your deeds are wrong and doing something to correct it💪🏻

Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung gave women a voice — an influence and power that one can only dream of in a dynasty such as Joseon. Not only Hae Ryung, but supporting characters such as the Queen Dowager, Mo Hwa, Sa Hui, and even the Crown Princess, who stood up for themselves at one point in time and didn’t let other people deter them from speaking their mind when it was necessary. The men here (Prince Lee Rim, Crown Prince, Officer Min, etc) were also nothing short of gracious and respectful to our heroines — without their help, a woman’s revolution at the time would have been impossible.

I cannot emphasize enough my high regards for this because of the unique angle given to women, the romance, and the overall fresh storyline💞 Read about my recommendation post for this kdrama if you’re interested in watching this. My recaps for this show is also available for your reading pleasure!

Unnie Life Lessons

1. Just because you know and speak the truth doesn’t mean other interpretations or opinions are necessarily wrong. Sometimes, understanding the reason for such actions can open our eyes to an issue/perspective.
  • Hae Ryung is a smart and knowledgable female lead who rarely hesitated to voice out worldly facts. I appreciated the fact that she loved to read books but it also isn’t wrong if someone has a different opinion about a particular topic.

  • In the historian exam, Hae Ryung wrote that a solar eclipse was a natural phenomenon and that it’s not something that a King can control simply by performing a ritual. But when the Crown Prince explained that not everyone in Joseon can have a good education like her (Since Hae Ryung is a noble), they wouldn’t know that fact. There are poor people all over and the ritual is meant to calm the villagers nerves and assure them that everything will be okay.
  • Yes, what Hae Ryung answered was true but it also makes sense that not everyone can have access to that information. I know that back then was a different time because now, information is readily available for anyone to peruse. But we can’t expect everyone to perceive an issue the same way — there could be different solutions to a problem and both could either be right or could be improved upon.
  • Even when it doesn’t make sense to us, putting ourselves in another person’s shoes can give us more insight on their situation giving us clarity about their actions.
2. Doing the right thing is not always met with everyone’s approval. Be prepared to take responsibility for your actions and be mindful if your decisions can affect other people too.

  • Hae Ryung submitted a petition that got her into trouble because it involved palace politics. She was made to do all of the tasks left by the assistant clerks and was frowned upon by her male historian peers.
  • Like Officer Min pointed out, one must be ready for the responsibility of such deeds. Don’t complain or lament that you only did the right thing because every action, no matter how good the intention, can elicit a consequence that you must be ready to handle.

  • Doing the right thing is not a crime, but we must consider the effect our actions can have on other people and try exploring other ways to deal with a problem. Hae Ryung could have approached the stipend corruption in a different manner and pondered some more about how the petition can affect her coworkers as well.
  • All throughout the kdrama, Hae Ryung insisted to help and divulge the truth and true enough, she humbly accepted any praise or backlash (if there was) that came along with it. Like her, Sa Hui was bold enough to make her feelings for the Crown Prince known even if it meant people would gossip about her. I know this example is not a “right thing” per say but the fact that she was ready for any punishment is owning up to her actions😁
3. Accepting the fact that there are things in life we cannot change and that this shouldn’t stop us from continuing to live our best days.

  • Mo Hwa comforted Hae Ryung when the latter found out that her decision led to a child’s death. She felt responsible because she could have taken the child with her back to Haeju, but because of Hae Ryung’s concern that the kid might already have smallpox and infect others, she decided against bringing her there.

  • Death is a permanent part of life. Hae Ryung thought of what was best for everyone but it doesn’t mean that if she had decided to take the child with her, that the child would have survived either. If someone we love passes away, we mourn and feel sad about it. But we don’t let such an event weigh us down forever, we have to make good use of our time and do what we can to live well.
  • It would be unfair for us (the living) to deprive ourselves of what life can offer, both joyful days and hardships, by blaming ourselves for things that are out of our control. Let’s use the time we have to continue to work hard and pursue the things that make us happy🦋
4. Be true to yourself and don’t compromise your values just because there are people/situations who/that put you down. Your sincerity and honesty will attract good karma & people into your life.
  • Hae Ryung’s character was never shy in speaking the truth and fighting for what she believed in. She fought tooth and nail to be heard and ruffled up a few government feathers along the way but eventually won over the good graces of people. In the scene below, she was bold enough to persuade the King to stop hating the historians because their role is not to criticize the Royal family, but rather, to write their good traits as an example for the next generation.
  • Even when the King had given her a hard time, she was still perceptive enough to impart such a realization without compromising any values as a historian.✍🏻

  • In relation to tip #2, when Hae Ryung submitted the petition to request for a special investigation regarding the past, she was supported by her fellow historians. It was a risky move but because it was the right thing to do and she did it properly, everyone backed her up and they were eventually rewarded with a happy ending.

Like I mentioned in my last episode recap for the kdrama, Hae Ryung was an imperfect character that also learned a lot from her experience as a historian. In the end, I do think that she and the other women have come a long way since the 1st episode. They are now respected and treated as equals who possess thoughts that matter as well✨

Just like the traditions of the past, it’s not always easy to speak one’s mind and have the courage to be ourselves now in a world where social media triggers comparison and hateful comments. But I believe that as long as we’re mindful of our words, don’t treat mistakes or odd comments as a negative but rather a learning experience, we’ll live an empowered and loved life😊💕

Unnie Life Lessons: Signs of Adulting by My First First Love

When does the line blur between being a young adult and becoming a full-fledged grown-up? Do we draw the line at making sacrifices and taking more responsibilities? Or do we simply reflect on our lives one mundane day, and just know that things are not how they used to be…?🍃

Running away from home, meeting new people, and fighting for what you want in life, My First First Love is a rite of passage for five people getting their first taste of adulthood. This has been one of the more lighthearted kdramas I’ve watched this year. It had its heavier moments, especially with our main characters’ family and lovelife problems, but the overall storytelling and tone of the show was fun and easygoing.

Check out my ending recap post for this kdrama and if you’re interested in starting this show, please read my first impressions post 😊

Unnie Life Lessons

1. Setting boundaries between you and your loved one because you need to. Whether you’re feeling upset, awkward, or just need space from them, it’s okay if the time apart clears your thoughts and offers you clarity.

  • Asking for space shows that you’re mature enough to know that spending more time with a person you’re not comfortable with, no matter what the reason and despite how close you are, is unhealthy. It’s hard to be apart from someone we care about, like Tae O to Song Yi, but he knew that they needed it so he could figure out his feelings for her and not inflict any more pain to their respective partners. Doing the right thing is so hard to do😅
  • I know that his statement kind of defeated the purpose because he accompanied Song Yi on a trip to see her mom not too long but I’m certain that if Do Hyun was with her at that time, he would have backed off.

2. Rejecting a career opportunity because it can hurt other people and you want to make it on your own.

  • Hoon’s father set him up to get a role in an upcoming musical. He refused the offer because he knows that someone who worked hard and legitimately passed the audition will be replaced by him. He expressed his concern that he had already commited such an act (Telling Ga Rin’s family where to find her in exchange for money) and it didn’t make him feel happy at all.

  • Hoon could have accepted the offer and never look back — let’s be honest, if he could swallow the guilt of someone else losing their job because of him, then by all means. But if you can’t do it due to your pride, fear of karma, or because you’ve experienced this yourself, don’t waver with your choice👊🏻
  • I can’t argue that it’s the right thing to do because if you’re already desperate, then choosing to forego such a chance may seem stupid. But I believe that wanting to carve your own path through your own merit will surely amount to something. Choosing not to step on anyone makes you a person with integrity –and that’s not a bad thing.

3. Knowing that people can let you down but you assess the situation well enough to have thoughts other than just getting angry.

  • Call it thinking positive or having a soft heart but I believe that growing up means being able to sort out your emotions and know that you can feel conflicting emotions even in lousy circumstances. Song Yi was still glad to see her mom despite having every right to feel just enraged at her for living a life with another man and leaving her by herself in Seoul.
  • There is no excuse for Song Yi’s mom abandoning her but I think she understood a little bit of what her mom was going through. It would be easier for her to just spite her mom but admitting that she felt relieved and listened to Tae O’s comments without protest is a sign of maturity.

4. When you need to set free someone you care about because staying with them doesn’t feel right anymore.

  • At first, I didn’t understand what Do Hyun meant when he talked about love’s depth and direction. I realized that it means even if you care for someone dearly (Song Yi to Do Hyun), but their care and attention is directed at someone else most of the time (Song Yi to Tae O), then something is not right. I know that Do Hyun is not accusing Song Yi of cheating or anything, I think he just accepted the fact that Tae O was the one who Song Yi truly loved.
  • Letting someone go without any bitterness is also a very grown-up thing to do because if someone we care about hurts us deeply, it’s only natural that we feel upset or angry. Do Hyun realized something good out of his experience and realized that there’s more to life than just studying and working hard but that he wants to have dreams and goals too. It’s not easy admitting your insecurities but embracing these and making an effort to improve is a pursuit to one’s own happiness.

I think that being an adult is a continuous learning process that will bring about fields of great days, cold winters of problems and uncertainty, and warm comforting moments. Like the natural changes in seasons, our dispositions and responsibilities in life will simply occur and change overtime.

Although we can’t pinpoint the exact day or moment where we fully mature, My First First Love sets up a lovely picture of a time in one’s life where we can experience such changes — it’s beautiful, exciting, and messy…but everything has a purpose🌷