Tag: mental health

Unnie Life Lessons: Mama Knows Best by Hi, Bye, Mama!

Is there a limit to what you can do for the ones you love? Putting them first, sacrificing your own needs and wants, letting them go to have the life they want to live? Cha Yu-ri, the main protagonist of Hi, Bye, Mama!, shows us that love is truly unconditional — not just as a parent, but also as a daughter, sibling, friend, and even as a ghostly spirit.

With the ongoing covid 19 pandemic paralyzing our daily lifestyle, it’s become common for us to slow down and have more time to reflect on what we’ve done so far in our x years of existence. Life is short, oh we know, but to someone like Yu-ri who died abruptly and was given a chance to start anew — she realized so much more than the living can adhere to.

Start watching or check out my Hi, Bye, Mama! recaps to get to know more about this kdrama!💃🏻

Mama’s Tips

1. Eating good food, going out or being able to hug your loved ones are actions that we can take for granted because we can do it anytime, easily. Learn to appreciate these simple acts of living and be thankful for every chance that you can do these.

  • No one in the world can predict their own death. Although we are told by quotes, reminded by a friend or older relative, and so on that we shouldn’t take things for granted, we can’t help but give little meaning to eating out, working, or being able to talk with friends because it’s easy. Let’s take a conscious effort to slow down and reflect on these beautiful acts of love and care.
  • I’ve read advice expressing that the everyday, mundane parts of life are all you need to live a good life. Let’s not wait until the certainty of these experiences become fractured — relish these moments now.

2. Even if it’s not in your presence anymore, letting your loved ones go and allowing them to find their own source of strength and hope is the best kind of love you can give.

  • Gang-hwa remarrying was never an issue for Yu-ri, either when she was a ghost or when she reincarnated, because she knew that she couldn’t console him any longer when she died. Seeing him get better and move on with Min Jeong was something that she will always be grateful for. Even if it meant the love of her life found somebody new, as long as he wasn’t in pain, she accepted it well.
  • It’s natural to think of ourselves first whenever we make decisions. But at the end of the day, it’s still easier for us to give way to someone we love because seeing them happy trumps the knowledge of them being miserable. Even to her own daughter (Seo Woo), Yu-ri never coveted the position of being her mom because she was thankful that Min Jeong took care of Seo Woo. Yu-ri was content in being able to spend time with her and know that Seo Woo liked her company as well.

3. Time can heal wounds. How long or how short can’t be determined but as long as you try, beautiful memories will replace the painful ones. Moving on with your life is something that you should strive to do when you need to.

  • Losing Yu-ri was a tragedy but five years gone, the people closest to Yu-ri were moving on with their lives without her. Although her mom did pray to see her once more, she still carried on with her everyday life without her eldest daughter. The unending pain that you feel will slowly dissipate with time, don’t give up. As long as you exert an effort to process the wounds, even as small as eating a meal or as big as trying to work or date again, better days will bless your presence.
  • As pointed out by Yu-ri, she didn’t want her loved ones to feel guilty in moving forward with their lives. We may forget about deceased family members, good friends we lost touch with through the years, or fun experiences, but we’ll never truly lose such memories because the impact they made in our lives are too significant.

Hi, Bye, Mama! kdrama was an emotional rollercoaster for me and though it had its depressing moments, the overall mood of the show aims to uplift our spirits with hope and healing. This post is long overdue, but it’s been a struggle for me to write about something positive when I myself have been feeling the ups and downs of being in quarantine.

There is no perfect formula on how to cope and move on but we can always try. Let’s be gentle with ourselves and never forget that:

Life is unpredictable. Live yours to the fullest — make sacrifices, learn from mistakes, cry, laugh to your heart’s content! It’s a wild but fulfilling journey, don’t worry, you’ll get through it😊

Unnie Thoughts: Prioritizing Who and What Really Matters

Happy New Year everyone! For some reason, I just felt inspired to write about something that I’ve already realized last year but have come to reaffirm on the last fe days of 2019. I wanted to start the 1st month of 2020 with a post that would encourage self-care and love not only to myself but also to anyone who needs it!🤗

Why is it when there’s 9 out of 10 people who care about you and only 1 out of 10 who doesn’t necessarily hate you but doesn’t like you either, we expend all our energy on that 1 person? Answer: Because we can’t stand the idea that there’s someone out there, whether we are close to them or not, who doesn’t like us. Call it our ego, our self-sustaining pride, that kicks into full gear and we immediately try to remedy the situation by exerting effort for that one person to like us. BUT what’s the point? There are 9 living, loving, and more appreciative people that like our company… shouldn’t they be the ones we exert our time and energy towards to instead?

We cannot please everyone, that’s a fact. It’s a hard truth to swallow because in our minds, we didn’t do anything wrong and we are cordial as we can be. It’s not our fault, it’s OKAY. I realized and felt so much better when I tend to the people that I truly love, my family and real friends, instead of trying to please other people that care little or don’t give a damn about me. I admit, my ego would be greatly satisfied if the person who doesn’t like me suddenly changes his/her opinion of me. It gives a great high but that feeling is fleeting and shallow…you’ll never be satisfied until you feel a complete acceptance on their end. I know that this can genuinely happen at times but I also know that there are people you just don’t get along with. Ever. Seeing my loved ones appreciate my efforts or even tell me what I need to hear (Even if it hurts) is more meaningful. Because deep inside, I know that their value to me and vice versa bears more weight than someone I’m simply trying to impress.

This 2020 and moving forward, I hope to stop chasing attention and seeking approval from people that I don’t necessarily need or care little about. I won’t be rude or boastful, but rather I’ll be cordial or neutral at best towards them. It won’t be easy and I know there are times that I’ll waver, but I hope that I’ll remember who and what are the things that really matter to me. Whatever happens, I’m focusing my love and energy to those I care about and those who chooses to stay by my side💖

As long as you know you’re not hurting anyone with your actions, live well and be happy🌈

Unnie Thoughts: We Are Going to be Okay

Lately, I’ve been bit with the uninspiring and lazy bug. I haven’t been inspired to write as much and I feel a little lost as to what I can put out there that’s even worthy for people to read. Before even attempting to write this entry, I bought a new self-care/self-help book and started reading it this afternoon. Maybe it’s just that time of the month when negativity and self-doubt are at an all-time high, but usually I am able to recover after a few days. This episode feels different, longer than usual.

Reading has always been a source of joy for me and it’s probably why I love writing so much too. I’m obsessed in perusing different titles that scream mental health help or self-care antidotes because I feel like I need to remind myself that what I’m feeling and experiencing is normal. I’ve been hesitant to write about feeling down because I thought I could get over it, and at the moment, I am feeling much better. I know I’m not 100% recovered but in writing this, I know that it’s an effort to make a change and not stay in a spiritless loop until the foreseeable future.

If you’re feeling down and rotten, remember that you have to fight to take your life back. The book reminded me that the crazy thoughts are all in our head and that it’s only ourselves that hinder ourselves to be happy. I’ve been sad for the past few days already and maybe my soul is ready to get out of the rut. It’s not going to be easy but I know that the fact that I was struggling to be better — to want to be in a healthier and more positive place, I felt that I was going to be okay. I just didn’t know when and how but you, I, have to want it.

It’s the last month of the year and perhaps you’re going through the motions too. Deadlines, self-reflections, last minute errands. Go and do the things that you love and destress. Go back to the basics: Hang out with your family, talk with your friends, read a book, exercise… anything that gives you real endorphins. If you’re alone, think about your accomplishments. Big, small, even the mistakes. Learn and don’t be afraid to keep trying. Be grateful. Don’t turn your back on something awesome just because you think that someone else has it better.

Focus on YOU. Let’s get through this😌