Tag: reflections

Unnie Life Lessons: Signs of Adulting by My First First Love

When does the line blur between being a young adult and becoming a full-fledged grown-up? Do we draw the line at making sacrifices and taking more responsibilities? Or do we simply reflect on our lives one mundane day, and just know that things are not how they used to be…?🍃

Running away from home, meeting new people, and fighting for what you want in life, My First First Love is a rite of passage for five people getting their first taste of adulthood. This has been one of the more lighthearted kdramas I’ve watched this year. It had its heavier moments, especially with our main characters’ family and lovelife problems, but the overall storytelling and tone of the show was fun and easygoing.

Check out my ending recap post for this kdrama and if you’re interested in starting this show, please read my first impressions post 😊

Unnie Life Lessons

1. Setting boundaries between you and your loved one because you need to. Whether you’re feeling upset, awkward, or just need space from them, it’s okay if the time apart clears your thoughts and offers you clarity.

  • Asking for space shows that you’re mature enough to know that spending more time with a person you’re not comfortable with, no matter what the reason and despite how close you are, is unhealthy. It’s hard to be apart from someone we care about, like Tae O to Song Yi, but he knew that they needed it so he could figure out his feelings for her and not inflict any more pain to their respective partners. Doing the right thing is so hard to do😅
  • I know that his statement kind of defeated the purpose because he accompanied Song Yi on a trip to see her mom not too long but I’m certain that if Do Hyun was with her at that time, he would have backed off.

2. Rejecting a career opportunity because it can hurt other people and you want to make it on your own.

  • Hoon’s father set him up to get a role in an upcoming musical. He refused the offer because he knows that someone who worked hard and legitimately passed the audition will be replaced by him. He expressed his concern that he had already commited such an act (Telling Ga Rin’s family where to find her in exchange for money) and it didn’t make him feel happy at all.

  • Hoon could have accepted the offer and never look back — let’s be honest, if he could swallow the guilt of someone else losing their job because of him, then by all means. But if you can’t do it due to your pride, fear of karma, or because you’ve experienced this yourself, don’t waver with your choice👊🏻
  • I can’t argue that it’s the right thing to do because if you’re already desperate, then choosing to forego such a chance may seem stupid. But I believe that wanting to carve your own path through your own merit will surely amount to something. Choosing not to step on anyone makes you a person with integrity –and that’s not a bad thing.

3. Knowing that people can let you down but you assess the situation well enough to have thoughts other than just getting angry.

  • Call it thinking positive or having a soft heart but I believe that growing up means being able to sort out your emotions and know that you can feel conflicting emotions even in lousy circumstances. Song Yi was still glad to see her mom despite having every right to feel just enraged at her for living a life with another man and leaving her by herself in Seoul.
  • There is no excuse for Song Yi’s mom abandoning her but I think she understood a little bit of what her mom was going through. It would be easier for her to just spite her mom but admitting that she felt relieved and listened to Tae O’s comments without protest is a sign of maturity.

4. When you need to set free someone you care about because staying with them doesn’t feel right anymore.

  • At first, I didn’t understand what Do Hyun meant when he talked about love’s depth and direction. I realized that it means even if you care for someone dearly (Song Yi to Do Hyun), but their care and attention is directed at someone else most of the time (Song Yi to Tae O), then something is not right. I know that Do Hyun is not accusing Song Yi of cheating or anything, I think he just accepted the fact that Tae O was the one who Song Yi truly loved.
  • Letting someone go without any bitterness is also a very grown-up thing to do because if someone we care about hurts us deeply, it’s only natural that we feel upset or angry. Do Hyun realized something good out of his experience and realized that there’s more to life than just studying and working hard but that he wants to have dreams and goals too. It’s not easy admitting your insecurities but embracing these and making an effort to improve is a pursuit to one’s own happiness.

I think that being an adult is a continuous learning process that will bring about fields of great days, cold winters of problems and uncertainty, and warm comforting moments. Like the natural changes in seasons, our dispositions and responsibilities in life will simply occur and change overtime.

Although we can’t pinpoint the exact day or moment where we fully mature, My First First Love sets up a lovely picture of a time in one’s life where we can experience such changes — it’s beautiful, exciting, and messy…but everything has a purpose🌷

Unnie Life Lessons: Do’s and Dont’s to have Healthy Relationships by My Absolute Boyfriend

Love is such a complex and elaborate subject that can’t be explained in just one or two definitions. I’m no relationship expert but the conversations/advices that My Absolute Boyfriend conveyed seemed valid and objectively correct. I admit that I’m not a fan of the robot-human relationship genre but watching this kdrama showed the good effects and learnings a transcendent kind of love can give✨

Even though I almost gave up finishing this because of my disappointment with how the story and characters progressed, I’m glad I pushed through and absolutely watched all 40 episodes.

Because I wanted to say so much more about My Absolute Boyfriend and interpret its ending, I wrote a separate post about it. Do check out the recap if you’re interested on what the final scene was and my thoughts on the human-robot love triangle! 🤖👨‍🦱

For a brief overview of this kdrama, check out my first impressions post!

Unnie Life Lessons

DON’T: Supress your feelings when you feel sad or upset. There’s only so much we can take as a human being and keeping sentiments bottled up is not good for the people involved. Trust that your partner will be able to understand what you feel.

  • This is a tricky set-up because the argument seems to favor no one: To the person complaining, they don’t want to come off like a whiner but they genuinely feel upset for having to put up with their loved one’s absence or shortcomings. To the person who is genuinely busy, they can feel unfairly judged because their reasons are valid and can be excused. BUT this is where Da Da got it wrong as she should have at least tried to tell Wang Joon how she felt even if it might lead to an argument.
  • We can say what we feel in a way that doesn’t come off like we’re looking for a fight. Tell them what and why you feel such emotions because keeping it bottled up only prolongs your agony. Regardless of how your partner reacts, don’t feel bad or think that your feelings are invalid. Talk it out, listen to each other, and react only when both of you have had time to really think about what has been said.

DO: Loving someone means looking out for their well-being and wanting what’s best for them even if that means you’re not always by their side or able to comfort them all the time. 

  • When you truly care about someone, isn’t it second nature for you to want to see them happy? I felt like this particular conversation between them was a foreshadowing of the future that if Da Da decides to dump him or if something goes wrong, he’ll be able to let her go because Da Da’s happiness is what matters most.

  • It’s a selfless kind of love that we can all aspire to but find hard to do because our natural instinct when we care for someone is to fight to keep them around. Prioritizing someone else’s needs can also be interpreted as you loving yourself as well — by letting go of someone you can’t keep, you are releasing yourself from the burden/pain you feel of seeing them get hurt by being with you.
  • Letting go, at least for me, can also mean not being too controlling or restricting to your loved ones. Let them have their space to pursue hobbies on their own, go on trips without you, or hang out with other people and still feel secure that your relationship won’t be affected by it. Trust that the connection you share is a different kind but is just as valid and significant like others.

  • The scene above is a testament that Want Joon has finally let Da Da go. Even if he admitted that he didn’t want their relationship to work out, the mere fact that he still helped them means that he values Da Da’s happiness more than his own. He may not have gotten Da Da back as a girlfriend in the end but he still has her as a friend — and that’s still a relationship worth cherishing.

DO: Acknowledging how you feel and owning up to it even if you don’t understand why you feel that way or uncertain of how other people might react. Being true to what you feel is a good thing because it means you are aware of what makes you happy.

  • I know I said that I’m not a fan of Da Da and Young Gu being together but her owning up to what she feels for him is a courageous confession of how he understood her feelings. I know I said in my recap post that she could just be fixated on the fact that Zero Nine gave her everything Wang Joon couldn’t anymore but if her character concluded it as romantic feelings, I can respect that.
  • We may not understand why we feel the way we feel, but we usually know how we feel in situations. We know we feel happy or uncomfortable, if we feel burdened or if we’re genuinely enjoying someone’s company — just like how Da Da felt being with Zero Nine even if it seems illogical because he is a robot. Not everything we feel is true though so take the time to sort out your emotions and don’t act out based on fleeting moments.

DON’T: Insist your own opinions and constantly barrage your loved ones with negative wisdom. You may be speaking the truth but don’t forget to be open-minded and give them a chance to explain their side. If it’s something you can learn to support, be there for them. If you really can’t, let your friend know respectfully. 

  • Da Da’s friend, Kyu Ri, kept convincing her that dating Zero Nine was absurd. To be fair, I would also be highly skeptical if my friend was dating a robot but once we air out our sentiments, we should also be open to hear our friend explain their side. 
  • We are individuals who make decisions and live our life the way we want to. We owe our loved ones the same respect and boundaries that we expect them to give to us as well. More than once, Kyu Ri lectured Da Da harshly and even set up a situation where Wang Joon and her could spend some alone time.

  • Kyu Ri was eventually able to accept their relationship as she saw Zero Nine’s genuine care for her. BUT even if she wasn’t able to support them after giving it a fair chance, it would still be okay. She shouldn’t force her opinions any longer though and respect Da Da’s decision. 
  • We may not understand or agree with everything our loved one say or do, because we are unique individuals, but it is possible to still maintain a good relationship with them. Sometimes, the best support is being honest enough to let them know that you have a different point of view, but that you can respect and not influence their minds to your favor.

DO: Stay together for the bad times. Every relationship will encounter problems and getting through these tough times will make a relationship stronger.

This has been one of my longest posts to date but I’m glad that I was able to share my thoughts on My Absolute Boyfriend’s life lessons. It may not have been the best kdrama but I still enjoyed it in my own way. Give it a try and who knows? You might appreciate it more than you think😊

Just like how love abounded with our main trio, I wish you the best in your relationships with your family, friends, and/or significant others. Be honest and talk about what you feel to each other, learn to compromise, and forgive one another. May we grow closer and our values become better each day we spend with our loved ones🌸

Unnie Recap: Interpreting My Absolute Boyfriend’s Ending

This is officially my 1st post about a (semi) recap for a kdrama that recently concluded: My Absolute Boyfriend. Well actually, it’s more of a rant because I was typing away too many thoughts and realized that I was deviating from the main point of another post😅 So I decided to dedicate a separate entry for this altogether. If you’re interested in watching this kdrama, check out my first impressions post to familiarize yourself with the story.

Maybe this is the future we’re looking at given the progress of AI and technology today but I’d still prefer a human being as a lifelong partner. Watching the first few episodes of My Absolute Boyfriend gave me hope that perhaps this kdrama would be different. Boy was I wrong😂

An Absolute Choice

Da Da realized that she was truly in love with Zero Nine despite Wang Joon’s best (and a little questionable) efforts, he only ended up being friends with Da Da. Ironically though, Zero Nine was having a meltdown since developing human emotions is too much for his metal state. He ran out of power holding onto the memories he shared with the people he learned to love. Our lead female was heartbroken but she continued to live her life the best way she can. Da Da’s special effects make-up company grew bigger and she and Wang Joon are good friends.

It’s not that the story itself wasn’t compelling or that the cast was bad, but the character development could have been better and the potential for deeper reflections on having a robot vs. human boyfriend could have been further explored. Da Da was just persistent that she liked Zero Nine but does she really like him or is it just convenient that he was able to give her the time and attention she never got from Wang Joon? I hated the fact that they didn’t prolong her struggle of choosing between Wang Joon and Zero Nine since she shared so much history with the former.

In defense of Zero Nine

I disagree with the notion that being with a robot is having perfect love. It’s imperfect in a sense that issues and conflicts still need to be addressed when you’re in such a relationship. Think about all the backlash and raised eyebrows if other people knew you were dating a robot but even if you got past that, what about the fact that you can’t raise a family or grow old together? I do appreciate the fact that Da Da probably thought of these issues and decided that she would be okay with having no kids or having an unaging husband while she grew older. They had their share of arguments like jealousy, missing out on plans, and even a looming break-up just like any normal relationship.

But…

Zero Nine is a love robot programmed to be the perfect boyfriend to its owner. It’s hard to see that his actions are genuinely sincere towards her because it’s his very essence to be a loyal, caring, and unselfish partner. Even if the show did feature an episode where he told his friend that he wanted to receive love from Da Da (which is not programmed in him), he always has her best interests at heart.

It makes me think that she is sticking with him until the end because getting hurt would be of less impact compared to a human. Zero Nine can’t really hurt Da Da because he is hotwired to be her perfect boyfriend.

An Annoying Female Lead

I’m not the biggest fan of Da Da’s character because even if Wang Joon broke up with her and their relationship ran its course, I was so frustrated that the kdrama only showed Wang Joon’s faults and how he was more exhausted of their secret relationship. They were together for 7 years but she agreed to end it too without putting up much of a fight. She didn’t even show half the amount of effort and persistence she had with Zero Nine to make their relationship work. Yes, she was neglected and put to the side by Wang Joon because of his acting career but he could have called her out on not saying anything and also feeling exhausted of all the secrecy.

A relationship takes 2 to tango and I wish that they showed Da Da’s share of mistakes in their relationship too. Instead she meets a person who fulfilled the very things she wanted in a relationship without giving her past a second thought.

An Absolute Ending?

My Absolute Boyfriend’s ending kind of left it open for interpretation (at least for me). In the last episode, Wang Joon visited Da Da to tell her that he had been cast in a hollywood movie and asked her to go with him as his make-up artist. She declined (of course, you foolish girl!) his offer and I thought that this was really the end… but a green umbrella was shown inside his car as he was ready to leave her home. The final scene showed Da Da running into someone holding a green umbrella and wearing a brown coat as she smiles at the person. I mean, WHAT?!

Logic tells me that it’s Zero Nine, who magically came back to power and reliving their iconic under the rain scene in the earlier episodes. Except that I can’t imagine Zero Nine wearing such an attire and why even show Wang Joon having the same umbrella? I know it’s a pre-produced kdrama so there was no chance they could change the ending last minute but if I had to pick, the person standing before her is Wang Joon.

I know it makes little sense after building up the robot and girl but maybe it’s a message of hope that after losing a great love, you can find another one. Wang Joon remains vocal about his feelings for Da Da until the last episode so it’s not a far stretch for him to still try and make things work for them. Zero Nine did ask Wang Joon to take care of Da Da in his absence so this could be the manifestation of his last wish.

Wang Joon + Da Da Forever❤️

Wang Joon’s character was flawed and he showed it evidently when he publicly announced that he loved Da Da without her consent and tried to dissuade her from Zero Nine without trying to understand the situation from her perspective. But let’s be real, wouldn’t you flip out too if the person you love was dating a robot? But he showed his true colors with an honest heart and even helped her fix Zero Nine when he was malfunctioning. His love, like Zero Nine’s, became selfless and geared towards Da Da’s happiness. He reflected and learned to be a better person — an organic growth stemmed from making human mistakes.

If I could give an alternate ending/epilogue to My Absolute Boyfriend, it would be flash forward to a few years after Wang Joon has returned to Korea after becoming a top star overseas. He’ll go to the beach where he and Da Da took a trip to before. Coincidentally, Da Da will be there too. They’ll smile in recognition and walk towards each other as the scene zooms out to reveal an absolute, perfect sunset🌅