Tag: relationship advice

Unnie Life Lessons: Do’s and Dont’s to have Healthy Relationships by My Absolute Boyfriend

Love is such a complex and elaborate subject that can’t be explained in just one or two definitions. I’m no relationship expert but the conversations/advices that My Absolute Boyfriend conveyed seemed valid and objectively correct. I admit that I’m not a fan of the robot-human relationship genre but watching this kdrama showed the good effects and learnings a transcendent kind of love can give✨

Even though I almost gave up finishing this because of my disappointment with how the story and characters progressed, I’m glad I pushed through and absolutely watched all 40 episodes.

Because I wanted to say so much more about My Absolute Boyfriend and interpret its ending, I wrote a separate post about it. Do check out the recap if you’re interested on what the final scene was and my thoughts on the human-robot love triangle! 🤖👨‍🦱

For a brief overview of this kdrama, check out my first impressions post!

Unnie Life Lessons

DON’T: Supress your feelings when you feel sad or upset. There’s only so much we can take as a human being and keeping sentiments bottled up is not good for the people involved. Trust that your partner will be able to understand what you feel.

  • This is a tricky set-up because the argument seems to favor no one: To the person complaining, they don’t want to come off like a whiner but they genuinely feel upset for having to put up with their loved one’s absence or shortcomings. To the person who is genuinely busy, they can feel unfairly judged because their reasons are valid and can be excused. BUT this is where Da Da got it wrong as she should have at least tried to tell Wang Joon how she felt even if it might lead to an argument.
  • We can say what we feel in a way that doesn’t come off like we’re looking for a fight. Tell them what and why you feel such emotions because keeping it bottled up only prolongs your agony. Regardless of how your partner reacts, don’t feel bad or think that your feelings are invalid. Talk it out, listen to each other, and react only when both of you have had time to really think about what has been said.

DO: Loving someone means looking out for their well-being and wanting what’s best for them even if that means you’re not always by their side or able to comfort them all the time. 

  • When you truly care about someone, isn’t it second nature for you to want to see them happy? I felt like this particular conversation between them was a foreshadowing of the future that if Da Da decides to dump him or if something goes wrong, he’ll be able to let her go because Da Da’s happiness is what matters most.

  • It’s a selfless kind of love that we can all aspire to but find hard to do because our natural instinct when we care for someone is to fight to keep them around. Prioritizing someone else’s needs can also be interpreted as you loving yourself as well — by letting go of someone you can’t keep, you are releasing yourself from the burden/pain you feel of seeing them get hurt by being with you.
  • Letting go, at least for me, can also mean not being too controlling or restricting to your loved ones. Let them have their space to pursue hobbies on their own, go on trips without you, or hang out with other people and still feel secure that your relationship won’t be affected by it. Trust that the connection you share is a different kind but is just as valid and significant like others.

  • The scene above is a testament that Want Joon has finally let Da Da go. Even if he admitted that he didn’t want their relationship to work out, the mere fact that he still helped them means that he values Da Da’s happiness more than his own. He may not have gotten Da Da back as a girlfriend in the end but he still has her as a friend — and that’s still a relationship worth cherishing.

DO: Acknowledging how you feel and owning up to it even if you don’t understand why you feel that way or uncertain of how other people might react. Being true to what you feel is a good thing because it means you are aware of what makes you happy.

  • I know I said that I’m not a fan of Da Da and Young Gu being together but her owning up to what she feels for him is a courageous confession of how he understood her feelings. I know I said in my recap post that she could just be fixated on the fact that Zero Nine gave her everything Wang Joon couldn’t anymore but if her character concluded it as romantic feelings, I can respect that.
  • We may not understand why we feel the way we feel, but we usually know how we feel in situations. We know we feel happy or uncomfortable, if we feel burdened or if we’re genuinely enjoying someone’s company — just like how Da Da felt being with Zero Nine even if it seems illogical because he is a robot. Not everything we feel is true though so take the time to sort out your emotions and don’t act out based on fleeting moments.

DON’T: Insist your own opinions and constantly barrage your loved ones with negative wisdom. You may be speaking the truth but don’t forget to be open-minded and give them a chance to explain their side. If it’s something you can learn to support, be there for them. If you really can’t, let your friend know respectfully. 

  • Da Da’s friend, Kyu Ri, kept convincing her that dating Zero Nine was absurd. To be fair, I would also be highly skeptical if my friend was dating a robot but once we air out our sentiments, we should also be open to hear our friend explain their side. 
  • We are individuals who make decisions and live our life the way we want to. We owe our loved ones the same respect and boundaries that we expect them to give to us as well. More than once, Kyu Ri lectured Da Da harshly and even set up a situation where Wang Joon and her could spend some alone time.

  • Kyu Ri was eventually able to accept their relationship as she saw Zero Nine’s genuine care for her. BUT even if she wasn’t able to support them after giving it a fair chance, it would still be okay. She shouldn’t force her opinions any longer though and respect Da Da’s decision. 
  • We may not understand or agree with everything our loved one say or do, because we are unique individuals, but it is possible to still maintain a good relationship with them. Sometimes, the best support is being honest enough to let them know that you have a different point of view, but that you can respect and not influence their minds to your favor.

DO: Stay together for the bad times. Every relationship will encounter problems and getting through these tough times will make a relationship stronger.

This has been one of my longest posts to date but I’m glad that I was able to share my thoughts on My Absolute Boyfriend’s life lessons. It may not have been the best kdrama but I still enjoyed it in my own way. Give it a try and who knows? You might appreciate it more than you think😊

Just like how love abounded with our main trio, I wish you the best in your relationships with your family, friends, and/or significant others. Be honest and talk about what you feel to each other, learn to compromise, and forgive one another. May we grow closer and our values become better each day we spend with our loved ones🌸