Happy New Year everyone! For some reason, I just felt inspired to write about something that I’ve already realized last year but have come to reaffirm on the last fe days of 2019. I wanted to start the 1st month of 2020 with a post that would encourage self-care and love not only to myself but also to anyone who needs it!🤗
Why is it when there’s 9 out of 10 people who care about you and only 1 out of 10 who doesn’t necessarily hate you but doesn’t like you either, we expend all our energy on that 1 person? Answer: Because we can’t stand the idea that there’s someone out there, whether we are close to them or not, who doesn’t like us. Call it our ego, our self-sustaining pride, that kicks into full gear and we immediately try to remedy the situation by exerting effort for that one person to like us. BUT what’s the point? There are 9 living, loving, and more appreciative people that like our company… shouldn’t they be the ones we exert our time and energy towards to instead?
We cannot please everyone, that’s a fact. It’s a hard truth to swallow because in our minds, we didn’t do anything wrong and we are cordial as we can be. It’s not our fault, it’s OKAY. I realized and felt so much better when I tend to the people that I truly love, my family and real friends, instead of trying to please other people that care little or don’t give a damn about me. I admit, my ego would be greatly satisfied if the person who doesn’t like me suddenly changes his/her opinion of me. It gives a great high but that feeling is fleeting and shallow…you’ll never be satisfied until you feel a complete acceptance on their end. I know that this can genuinely happen at times but I also know that there are people you just don’t get along with. Ever. Seeing my loved ones appreciate my efforts or even tell me what I need to hear (Even if it hurts) is more meaningful. Because deep inside, I know that their value to me and vice versa bears more weight than someone I’m simply trying to impress.
This 2020 and moving forward, I hope to stop chasing attention and seeking approval from people that I don’t necessarily need or care little about. I won’t be rude or boastful, but rather I’ll be cordial or neutral at best towards them. It won’t be easy and I know there are times that I’ll waver, but I hope that I’ll remember who and what are the things that really matter to me. Whatever happens, I’m focusing my love and energy to those I care about and those who chooses to stay by my side💖
As long as you know you’re not hurting anyone with your actions, live well and be happy🌈
Lately, I’ve been bit with the uninspiring and lazy bug. I haven’t been inspired to write as much and I feel a little lost as to what I can put out there that’s even worthy for people to read. Before even attempting to write this entry, I bought a new self-care/self-help book and started reading it this afternoon. Maybe it’s just that time of the month when negativity and self-doubt are at an all-time high, but usually I am able to recover after a few days. This episode feels different, longer than usual.
Reading has always been a source of joy for me and it’s probably why I love writing so much too. I’m obsessed in perusing different titles that scream mental health help or self-care antidotes because I feel like I need to remind myself that what I’m feeling and experiencing is normal. I’ve been hesitant to write about feeling down because I thought I could get over it, and at the moment, I am feeling much better. I know I’m not 100% recovered but in writing this, I know that it’s an effort to make a change and not stay in a spiritless loop until the foreseeable future.
If you’re feeling down and rotten, remember that you have to fight to take your life back. The book reminded me that the crazy thoughts are all in our head and that it’s only ourselves that hinder ourselves to be happy. I’ve been sad for the past few days already and maybe my soul is ready to get out of the rut. It’s not going to be easy but I know that the fact that I was struggling to be better — to want to be in a healthier and more positive place, I felt that I was going to be okay. I just didn’t know when and how but you, I, have to want it.
It’s the last month of the year and perhaps you’re going through the motions too. Deadlines, self-reflections, last minute errands. Go and do the things that you love and destress. Go back to the basics: Hang out with your family, talk with your friends, read a book, exercise… anything that gives you real endorphins. If you’re alone, think about your accomplishments. Big, small, even the mistakes. Learn and don’t be afraid to keep trying. Be grateful. Don’t turn your back on something awesome just because you think that someone else has it better.
It’s no secret that the generation today is in need of a healthy validation that assures them their feelings are valid. I, myself, have read a lot of self-help and self-love books that at first, I wasn’t sure if I ought to be proud of it because I thought, “What if people think I’m depressed?” But as I learned when talking to different people and reading more and more books, you can be an okay person and still find yourself looking for advice every now and then— a voice aside from the people that you know. Maybe even constantly if you need it.
I try to apply and preach self-love whenever I can, but don’t you ever get those random days when you just feel a little sad? One minute you feel on top of the world, and the next, your self-esteem and confidence shoots down like a popped balloon. Do we simply just think too much sometimes or do we need to stop feeding our minds with doubts and just tackle our days for what is is? Our mind is a powerful tool that can either break us or help us get back to a path of healing and recovery. We need to practice feeding ourselves with positive thoughts, “we can do this” mantras, and if the weight of our problems are just a bit too heavy to carry… let’s remind ourselves that it’s okay to rest.
There have been countless of times where this up and down swirl of emotions have latched onto me and I’m not really sure how I get out of the rut. I think that we just need to live our life day by day and eventually, when we find ourselves doing something else, the feeling of loneliness and anxiety just dissipates. Spending time with family, talking or going out with loved ones, working hard, solving problems, sleeping in on the weekends — life will not let us be stuck on a downward spiral forever. Our situations won’t change overnight though but we can heal in between the hardships if we allow ourselves to.
It’s almost the end of another year, 2019, and when I look back on all my experiences, I can’t say I’ve had a bad one. Don’t self sabotage by allowing your mind to wander endlessly through a loop of insecurities. Just like Rome wasn’t built in a day, trust that the life you have been living, shaped by your own hands and heart, amidst the negative energy, has a sturdy and good foundation✨