Tag: self improvement

Unnie Thoughts: Being Emotionally Present in the Moment

In a couple of days, I’ll be going on vacation, but as it turns out it’s the Chuseok holiday (Thanksgiving) in Korea so there’s no Rookie Historian: Goo Hae Ryung this week for me to recap regardless😅 I rarely do life updates here but if I can, it’s because I want to share some knowledge or realizations I’ve learned as of the moment.

***

Have you ever experienced being physically present in the moment but your mind wanders elsewhere? When you’re out to dinner with friends or having a family get-together, you know and hear what other people are talking about, but you yourself check out into your own thoughts?

A stark example of this is when I fixate trying to get the perfect angle of a dish ordered from a restaurant or making sure a scenery is breathtaking enough when captured to post in Instagram. We are a social media driven generation and I admit that it’s fun being able to share and relive my life through photographs — but the time I spend obsessing about these little things sometimes takes away the thankfulness or happiness I feel in enjoying such a moment. Instead of the memory of travelling to a new place or relishing the experience of hanging out with loved ones, the moment I remember first is how a picture didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to or how I was thinking about a particular problem at the time.

I’ve been trying to cultivate the habit of being more emotionally present in each moment because I’ve realized that I’ve been missing out on truly enjoying experiences, small or big. This doesn’t mean that I don’t find joy in my daily life but I find myself more engaged and satisfied when I focus on the present and listen to the people I’m currently with. Whether it’s travelling to a new place or meeting my friends, I feel a more purposeful experience because I know that I was 100% physically and emotionally available for such an experience.

Our concerns are valid, yes, but as I’ve learned throughout the days, not everything we feel is necessarily true. When we’re with our family or friends, lets make it a point to listen to their stories, share our insights, and laugh the time away. Let’s take a breath and give ourselves a “me time” in a day where we can process our thoughts and musings. Then let go of all the weight and know that you’ve done what you can to help yourself. Don’t forget to cut yourself some slack and take time to relax💆🏻‍♀️ Be emotionally available to yourselves first and the act of being mindful towards our loved ones and surroundings will naturally follow💖

Unnie Life Lessons: Signs of Adulting by My First First Love

When does the line blur between being a young adult and becoming a full-fledged grown-up? Do we draw the line at making sacrifices and taking more responsibilities? Or do we simply reflect on our lives one mundane day, and just know that things are not how they used to be…?🍃

Running away from home, meeting new people, and fighting for what you want in life, My First First Love is a rite of passage for five people getting their first taste of adulthood. This has been one of the more lighthearted kdramas I’ve watched this year. It had its heavier moments, especially with our main characters’ family and lovelife problems, but the overall storytelling and tone of the show was fun and easygoing.

Check out my ending recap post for this kdrama and if you’re interested in starting this show, please read my first impressions post 😊

Unnie Life Lessons

1. Setting boundaries between you and your loved one because you need to. Whether you’re feeling upset, awkward, or just need space from them, it’s okay if the time apart clears your thoughts and offers you clarity.

  • Asking for space shows that you’re mature enough to know that spending more time with a person you’re not comfortable with, no matter what the reason and despite how close you are, is unhealthy. It’s hard to be apart from someone we care about, like Tae O to Song Yi, but he knew that they needed it so he could figure out his feelings for her and not inflict any more pain to their respective partners. Doing the right thing is so hard to do😅
  • I know that his statement kind of defeated the purpose because he accompanied Song Yi on a trip to see her mom not too long but I’m certain that if Do Hyun was with her at that time, he would have backed off.

2. Rejecting a career opportunity because it can hurt other people and you want to make it on your own.

  • Hoon’s father set him up to get a role in an upcoming musical. He refused the offer because he knows that someone who worked hard and legitimately passed the audition will be replaced by him. He expressed his concern that he had already commited such an act (Telling Ga Rin’s family where to find her in exchange for money) and it didn’t make him feel happy at all.

  • Hoon could have accepted the offer and never look back — let’s be honest, if he could swallow the guilt of someone else losing their job because of him, then by all means. But if you can’t do it due to your pride, fear of karma, or because you’ve experienced this yourself, don’t waver with your choice👊🏻
  • I can’t argue that it’s the right thing to do because if you’re already desperate, then choosing to forego such a chance may seem stupid. But I believe that wanting to carve your own path through your own merit will surely amount to something. Choosing not to step on anyone makes you a person with integrity –and that’s not a bad thing.

3. Knowing that people can let you down but you assess the situation well enough to have thoughts other than just getting angry.

  • Call it thinking positive or having a soft heart but I believe that growing up means being able to sort out your emotions and know that you can feel conflicting emotions even in lousy circumstances. Song Yi was still glad to see her mom despite having every right to feel just enraged at her for living a life with another man and leaving her by herself in Seoul.
  • There is no excuse for Song Yi’s mom abandoning her but I think she understood a little bit of what her mom was going through. It would be easier for her to just spite her mom but admitting that she felt relieved and listened to Tae O’s comments without protest is a sign of maturity.

4. When you need to set free someone you care about because staying with them doesn’t feel right anymore.

  • At first, I didn’t understand what Do Hyun meant when he talked about love’s depth and direction. I realized that it means even if you care for someone dearly (Song Yi to Do Hyun), but their care and attention is directed at someone else most of the time (Song Yi to Tae O), then something is not right. I know that Do Hyun is not accusing Song Yi of cheating or anything, I think he just accepted the fact that Tae O was the one who Song Yi truly loved.
  • Letting someone go without any bitterness is also a very grown-up thing to do because if someone we care about hurts us deeply, it’s only natural that we feel upset or angry. Do Hyun realized something good out of his experience and realized that there’s more to life than just studying and working hard but that he wants to have dreams and goals too. It’s not easy admitting your insecurities but embracing these and making an effort to improve is a pursuit to one’s own happiness.

I think that being an adult is a continuous learning process that will bring about fields of great days, cold winters of problems and uncertainty, and warm comforting moments. Like the natural changes in seasons, our dispositions and responsibilities in life will simply occur and change overtime.

Although we can’t pinpoint the exact day or moment where we fully mature, My First First Love sets up a lovely picture of a time in one’s life where we can experience such changes — it’s beautiful, exciting, and messy…but everything has a purpose🌷

Unnie Life Lessons: 4 Missions Accomplished in Angel’s Last Mission: Love

Are we merely fulfilling the destiny laid out for us or can we change our fates depending on our actions? Angel’s Last Mission: Love shows us that we have the power to alter our destiny but it is not without sacrifices and hardships.

The lead actress (Shin Hye Sun) and lead actor (L) were superb in this kdrama and I hope that they will be catapulted into further stardom because of this kdrama!💫 It was such a high intensity show with all the shouting, rage, and cat & mouse angles certain episodes brought. Balancing out the tense moments were the comedic chops of our angel, Kim Dan, and the subtle but growing love he shared with Yeon Seo made the show more enticing to watch.

For a brief overview of Angel’s Last Mission: Love, please read my previous post to get to know this romcom melodrama a bit better!

Unnie Life Lessons

1. Yeon Seo was able to find love and live a life overcoming her scars of losing loved ones and being unable to dance because of her blindness. She emerged a stronger and happier person because she enabled herself to do so💃🏻

  • Yeon Seo was so used to being alone and miserable she never thought about how other people might feel of her coming back and automatically getting the lead role in Giselle. She didn’t take Kim Dan’s advice like an entitled heiress but rather, she even suggested to hold an audition to be fair. It shows her willingness to compromise and work with others sincerely.

  • Although Kim Dan was highly influential to her path to recovery, it was still her choice if she wanted to listen to him. It was on her own accord to reach out to the ballet corps and sincerely compliment Ni Na of her amazing audition as Giselle. She remained temperamental and wasn’t the most approachable person around but people learned to appreciate her true nature as well.

  • It takes a lot of courage to open up and try to get along with people who clearly don’t like you. It’s not easy to think of others given what Yeon Seo has been through herself but she understood that her dreams and hopes are not hers alone; other people get upset or have the same aspirations like her. We can feel as if our own pain is the worst and most brutal compared to others but we can’t compare what we feel to another’s because we’ll never know the magnitude of what one is feeling unless we are them.

2. Our resident angel upheld good values and preached the teachings of God to practically everyone he met. Even if Kim Dan got entangled with human business and rebeled against the norm, his intentions were pure and his actions consistently reflected that of a good person.

  • Never one to be quiet about his feelings, Kim Dan said what he wanted to even if it’s toward an audience that didn’t want to hear his opinion. He told Yeon Seo what she needed to hear and fought for his mission to help her find love again. I think he also learned that humans get frustrated and fixated on things that may not make sense for his angel persona but he adapted well enough to give Yeon Seo the space she needed because she was overcoming her own fears and insecurities.

  • He saw with his own eyes how evil crept its way into Yeon Seo’s life and by falling in love with her did he start to doubt God’s grand plans for her. Angel’s Last Mission: Love imparts that it’s okay to be confused and angry with your faith — I think that only by questioning your beliefs will you slowly realize the reason and purpose of your struggles. In the end, even if we are tempted to commit a sin, we are anchored to our core values that remind us of what is right. Even when we make mistakes, our beliefs will tell us to repent and ask for forgiveness.

3. We will probably never fully comprehend the reasons why tragic events happen in our life. Not defying what is morally good despite questioning the events of our life is a sacrifice we should strive for. A better tomorrow will come even if we can’t imagine it.

  • Kim Dan felt frustrated and confused as to why he can’t save Yeon Seo because saving someone from murder is good right? But it also makes sense that as an angel, he can’t meddle with human affairs especially with matters of life and death. He almost killed Ru Na as the person responsible for Yeon Seo’s attempted murders to desperately prevent any more harm to come to her but he stopped himself because he knew that it would be a grave sin to do so.

  • I’m not saying to blindly follow a set of rules established by an invisible deity and hope that by not breaking any of them, you won’t have a hard time. Even if you don’t believe in God, you still follow a set of guidelines that tell you what is objectively right or wrong. Things happen for a reason and I believe that once we get past the confusion and pain, we’ll find this life worth living for✨

4. Yeon Seo and Kim Dan were given a miracle and can spend the rest of their lives together as human beings. They don’t know the exact reason why this was allowed and it didn’t happen immediately but this could be God’s plan for them all along.

  • Kim Dan was forgiven for his sin of falling in love with a human and remained an angel. Yeon Seo became the chairman of Fantasia and continued to live her life well despite Dan’s absence. It was then revealed that Kim Dan was allowed to be with her all this time but he was invisible to the human eye. One fateful day as Seo Yeon was contemplating on the bench where they first interacted, she was finally able to see him as his handkerchief (Identity to be an angel) disappeared.

  • We pray and hope for good things but when we experience unforseen bad moments, we clamor for the fairness and balance God claims He is. I believe that when we live diligently and trust in a higher power, God will bless us with the very thing we prayed so earnestly for or maybe something more. Miracles can happen in our lives… or it won’t. We can’t give up and let time take away our remaining days as a mortal being because even if the pain seems unbearable now, I truly believe that the feeling will pass and reasons to live will find its way to us.

We’ve always been taught that God is all knowing and that He already knows what will happen to us. Thanks to Angel’s Last Mission: Love, I’d like to believe that if change is the only constant thing in this world, then our unpredictability as humans can also move His heart, forgive us, and bring about changes in His plans for us❤️

Unnie Thoughts: Trust the Timing of Your Life

There are instances in my life where I wanted something to happen at one point in time but it didn’t, so I accepted my fate that it just wasn’t meant to be. A few months or even a few years later, while having a random musing, I realized that what I wanted to happen in the past has actually happened now. Is it a coincidence, hard work, or ordained from above? Perhaps it’s a mixture of all 3 elements with a spark of magic. 

It’s funny when the realization hits me because we can get the things we want but it’s not always on the timing that we desire. I didn’t specifically ask for it to happen but somehow it did, and I always agree with the timing of when it happened. I believe though that such experiences, whether it’s getting your dream job, passing an important exam, or being able to buy cheap airfare tickets to go to your dream destination, will happen if it’s meant to happen for you. Not everything turns out the way we want them to (And that’s not a bad thing) — we could actually want something different from our initial desires, make mistakes, realize that taking an alternative isn’t so bad as we thought. As with the passage of time can instil life changing lessons that we never thought we could learn, perhaps letting things come to fruition on its own accord is the very thing we must embrace.

Lately I’ve been struggling with trying to do something, anything really, to achieve certain goals I have in my life at the moment. I don’t want to whine and complain about something that I haven’t even made any effort to achieve. It gets frustrating though because if I know that I’ve already exerted time and energy to achieve my goals but my desired outcome still hasn’t happened, then what does become of me then? Is it my fault for not doing enough, should I try harder?  

With this post, I just want to remind myself (and if you need some encouraging yourselves) that the things we want to happen may not occur immediately but it doesn’t mean that it won’t happen. Having moments of panic and getting scared is normal but don’t let it eat you alive. I tell myself that these times of uncertainty will come to pass too — we just can’t force it. I’m not saying to just do nothing, heck no, exert effort and do something to attain your desires and goals. Remember to be patient with yourself and the universe — if it takes time for us to accomplish what we want, then the forces of the universe must also need time to help us get where we want and need to be.

Friendships, new experiences, and unexpected discoveries can happen organically if we let it, maybe even when we least expect it. Don’t try to control an outcome and continue to live your life one day a time, well and fully. Trust that the timing of your life is already where it needs to be at each moment, growing and developing dynamically just like you.